Parents yours skills are needed

It is that time of year again when the worries about your child's educational future are either relieved or heightened. If your child got a place at one of the schools of your preference, then hopefully you are happy and optimistic. However, if you were not allocated a school of your preference or have been allocated a school that you feel would be detrimental to your child's educational journey then I am sure that you have a mixture of emotions ranging from confusion, anxiety, bewilderment to straight out frustration and anger. I have worked with hundreds of parents over the years who have experienced a wide spectrum of feelings once they received their child's school allocation and one thing all of them have in common is that they want what is best for their child and that is what is first and foremost in their minds. My first response to the disappointed is BREATH!!! remember how you react will have an impact on your child and you need them to know that no decisions are personal or based on the idea that they are not good enough. Often the decision comes down to a post code. Also bear in mind that just like life itself - situations change and very quickly . It is these parents that I would encourage to look at the situation differently and think - 'How can I make the best of this situation for my child' do not act in anger and turn down the school offered. It is always better to have somewhere to go in September and you can give up the space at any time if things change. Now consider what are our options? what is the worse case scenario? how can we make this work for us? You may decide to appeal against the decision not to offer your child a space in the desired school and it is your legal right to appeal any school that you have applied to (as long as they were higher on your preference ranking than the one offered). If you do decide to exercise your right to appeal have in the back of your mind 1. What was the admissions criteria 2. Is this the only school that can meet my child's needs? 3. Why is this the only school that can meet my child's needs? 4. Is there evidence available to support my appeal. If you would like to talk this through with an experienced independent advisor call me on 07708 318 599 (I offer 30 minutes free consultation and promise to allay some of your fears, calm you down and help you to consider your next steps). If you do decide to appeal - I offer a support service at a reasonable rate also. But above all else please bare in mind that things change, children are both resilient and brilliant so even in the face of adversity they will thrive as long as they have support, reassurance and feel safe. Everything is a learning experience so think about things differently - what can you and your child learn from this disappointment?

11+ Survival and Success, The Essential Parents' Guide A collaboration between a parent who had to navigate the system and a School Admissions and Appeals Specialist, this book aims to arm individuals with children transferring from primary to secondary schools with the information needed to approach the 11+ Grammar school entrance system and secondary transfer process. Now available to purchase from amazon.co.uk for £3.99 For further information and independent admissions advice please contact www.empowermentfocused.org or telephone 0770 8318 599

As we try to thaw out and battle through the snow some of us may also be coming to terms with the results of their child’s secondary school application because today is the day that year 6 children and their parents across the UK find out what secondary school they have been given. Good luck! If your child - or anyone you know did not get the school you wanted or one that you are happy with. First things first – BREATH! Things can change in 6 months (just look at the weather). There are still options open to you . If you feel faced with what can seem like a minefield you may have questions running around in your head like: What do we do now? Do I have to accept the place offered? Can I apply to other schools now? Should I appeal? We can help you with this – contact Empowerment Focused www.empowermentfocused.org or inbox us here, leave a number and we will call you. We have over 20 years experience of successfully supporting parents through this process and are trained to do so. We will offer independent advice in a relevant, down to earth way that makes you feel at ease and realise the options available to your individual case. The first conversation is totally free. Please comment, like and share .

It has been two weeks now since secondary transfer decision day. Some parents and their children are happy and content with the school that they have been offered, others have accepted the school they have been offered as fate. But there are some who want to exercise their right to appeal against the decision not to offer their child a place at the school that they preferred. If you are one of those parents who wish to appeal – we may be able to help you by explaining the process and scenarios that make an appeal more likely to succeed. Did you know that if you wish to appeal the school has to allow at least 20 days from offer day (1st of March) for you to submit a case. However, a successful case will need evidence to support it and if you are seeking this from professionals such as social workers, therapists or doctors this could take much longer than this deadline to get together. 5 Top Tips 1. Make sure that your child is on the waiting list for the schools that you would consider – things change daily and    spaces can become available. 2. You can appeal for any or all of the schools where you were unsuccessful. 3. Submit an appeal which outlines your case and explain that you will send evidence in good time prior to appeal.    You have to be in it to win it. So please don’t stress just register your intention by submitting your outline appeal to the school and follow it up. 4. Remember any appeal has to make it clear why a particular school is the only place your child can attend. 5. Do not get disheartened – keep an open mind about the school that your child has received an offer from and go   and see it – get a feel for it with one question in mind “could my child do well here?” If you need support or advice with an appeal or to discuss your options regarding secondary schools admissions please contact us at: empowermentfocused.org we are down to earth, experienced trained advisors who offer an independent service at a very reasonable price.

For the UK’s thousands of year 6ers and their families, today is the day that you find out which secondary school your child will attend in September. Transition to secondary school is one of the many milestones and rites of passage that your child will experience before they reach adulthood. Along with sitting exams, learning to drive, voting for the first time this milestone is one which people often remember well into their later years. For many, you have received the school of your dreams – your first preference and often the one you had set your heart on, sometimes for years. However, there will be a number of parents who have received ‘bad news’ as they have either not been allocated a school of their choice or have been allocated one which they didn’t really want. If you are one of the disappointed parents my first piece of advice is breath………. Remember, decisions on secondary school allocation are not a reflection of your child personally and no matter how difficult it is to fathom – should not be seen as rejection. We have supported many hundreds of parents over the years many of whom cried enough to fill buckets when they got their letters. Others whose anger, if frozen would have created icebergs the size of a nation. I say this because I was one of those parents years ago and know firsthand that the sense of disappointment made me feel almost physically sick then numb because like any parent I desire the best for my child and believed this had been cruelly denied. However, there is hope and things change. If you are one of the parents that did not get allocated your preference here are my BREATH top tips to help you make sense of what for many is the admissions mind field. 1. Breath - Take some time to process what has happened. Things change – not all places allocated are taken up in September. People move area etc and spaces can become available. 2. Reassure - Try to reassure yourself that things will work out. Reassure your child that this is not the end of the line. We do not always get what we want, sometimes when we settle for what we think is second best – in the end it works out to be the best thing that could ever have happened. 3. Evaluate - Think about the school that you have been offered, with an open mind. Remember that all children are different and your friends, family members or communities experience with a particular school will be very different from yours. All too often people form opinions on a school based not on personal experience but the words of others. Go and have a look at what you have been offered with 1 question in mind “Could my child get on here?” Remember that this will be the place where your child will potentially spend the next 5 years. Also think about your options, are there schools that you did not consider that now seem like a good alternative. Broaden your thinking – you can stay on the waiting lists for schools and you can apply to schools you had not considered before – that is your right. It is also your right to lodge an appeal against a decision not to offer you a school. If you chose this route you will need to think realistically about the appeals process and in what circumstances appeals are successful. A starting point for looking into this is ACE – Advisory http://www.ace-ed.org.uk/ 4. Action - Accept the school you have been offered as a safety net. Unless there is something life threatening that means your child cannot attend the school which they have been allocated accept the space. This does not mean that your child will definitely be attending there in September but it does mean that you have a backup plan. Accepting a space does not mean you cannot apply for other schools or appeal for other schools. Accepting the space cannot be used against you if you approach another school. Take the necessary action to change the situation, this includes working to change your perception of the school offered – just in case. Try to make a list of at least 5 positive things about the school allocated that may include distance from home. This will make you feel more at ease and definitely help your child to come to terms with the present situation. 5. Time – Organise your time. Time manage your actions. Ensure you are clear about the deadlines for accepting a place, waiting lists and appeals? Make sure you leave time to collate any information or documents needed. This could mean having to get hold of proof of address etc and this can take time – factor this in. 6. Help – Get support and advice Seek help and advice from people who can explain and guide you through the admissions and appeals system in a calm, objective and down to earth manner. If you or anyone you know needs support with any of this please contact us here at Empowerment Focused. If you email us we will call you back, alternatively call us at the numbers listed http://www.empowermentfocused.org/contact . We offer up to 30 minutes free advice – and reassurance. We are trained advisers with decades of experience in this field; we have a human, down to earth approach. But most importantly BREATH – there really are worse things happening in the world.

Summer is here and school is out - a distant memory for at least another 6 weeks. In my day summer holidays consisted of waking early to watch 'Why don't you' and then deciding that I could be a great inventor, so racing through all the cupboards, drawers and forbidden tools I could get my hands on. Then using odds and ends to make creations that I saw them make on the TV so easily - a washing up liquid rocket ship, toilet roll puppets and pencil cases from old jeans. Fast forward to 2016 - children no longer wanting to watch creative programmes on TV. Why should they? They now have Pokemon's to be hunting. Racing around in various locations trying to catch the rare species. I can see benefits to this:It's cheap, can last for hours and they are out in the fresh air and doing physical activity again, and physically socialising too - Yayyyy!! All you need to do is make sure they have refreshments and are supervised enough to keep them safe. Parents of the world - this could be the way forward. I have heard lots of grumbles about this Pokemon phase - it's ridiculous, it doesn't make sense and it's dangerous. However, there is so much learning to be had here. I saw my nieces and nephews (children and adults alike) come together to hunt Pokemon for over 3 hours recently. It was a great opportunity for them to bond, explore and burn off some energy. My devious teachers mind started racing..........Eureka!- I could keep them occupied for hours. I have made a note to start exploring local attractions and sites that could provide free Pokemon hunting grounds. Here in London there are many parks, riverside walks, city farms, museums and galleries which I intend to use as a stomping ground. I reckon after walking for hours we can then discuss the whole thing for at least another few hours. Conversation is so important in development and guess what...... children probably won't even realise that this whole Pokemon hunt gave them so teaching. I bet they thought they'd got away from education for a while. Counting, identifying, sorting, dividing, researching, discussing, communicating, recording, predicting, team work, tenacity, resilience, creativity, organisation (the list is endless) and most of all having fun! That sounds so familiar to me - all elements of the school curriculum - so who said parents ain't professionals? So Parents/Carers lets get creative and use this Pokemon craze to our advantage!